Another year, New energy

This yearly ritual of reflecting and resolving is.. getting boring.  Every year, I have a huge boost of creative energy right now.  With how busy the ends of years are, I always feel like January is a breath of fresh air.  That I finally get time to myself again, to think, create, and be content.

I have always been a flip flopper when it comes to “new years resolutions”.  Those who read my blog already know this, since I like to do a New Years post every year any ways.   I write these posts so that in my next year I can go back, read them and then look at if what I said actually worked out in my life, if I gave up on it, forgot about it, or really just to see where I was mentally at the time.

Frequently I’ve picked “gain weight” as one, which never really made sense because nothing I do or don’t do seems to affect my weight; ironically, last year was one of the first years that I didn’t state that as a year goal and yet I actually did gain weight last year (which was probably due to my getting older, but whatever).  So I’m happy to say that this one is definitely not on my list this year, but maintaining a healthy, active lifestyle still is.

Another resolution I seem to have made multiple times is regular posting on my blog.  Despite how many promises I give you, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to post on a regular schedule.  My life is just too jam-packed with stuff for me to post regularly.  BUT that doesn’t mean that I plan on posting once every three months.  I am going to make a goal of ONE post a week, especially since I have once again created a mountain of posts just waiting to be wrote.  But I won’t pick a specific day to post, obviously that doesn’t work for me.  Just one a week, let’s try that.  I also intend on posting my Photo Vault Tuesdays again, though I don’t expect it to be weekly, I’m going to aim for once a month (on the official Shock Stock blog).

But, last year I wrote one paragraph that re-reading it.. I don’t think I could say it better myself (hah).  So I’m going to re-post it, since it still applies and it is still how I try to live every single day.  I think that it explains a lot of how I’m feeling about writing this blog, and sharing myself.

“I think that a root of this problem lies in Identity.  I want this blog to be honest, even when it’s ugly.  I want this blog to represent me, my voice, my art, and my life.  Identity is something that I have struggled with since I was young.  I think this is also why I have always been fascinated with self portraits, and the idea of transforming myself on a regular basis.  But I’ve grown to realize that identity is not something that is static, I do not have any single identity.  Rather I am (like all living beings) always in flux.  This gives me a better sense of control, knowing that my identity is not something that I need to stamp out into a neat little square, but something that can change and develop with me.  I just need to listen to my own heart, and be honest with myself, and move forward from that.  I just need to be the best that I can be, so that I can be proud of myself when I fall asleep each night.”

In term of working girl news, I still work at Michaels.  I technically still work at Swiss Chalet, but from May to December of last year I think I worked a total of four times (which, at times were both a good and a bad thing).  I still love my job at Michaels. I do a lot more than just framing.  I work in replenishment now too, which is actually a lot more fun than I ever expected it to be.  I have a brain that loves organization and rules, so setting up planograms, moving stock around and making the store look good I think comes naturally to me.  I think I’ve really made an impact at my workplace this year, and it was actually appreciated, which feels good too.

There is no way to wrap up a year in some pretty paper and call it done.  But I feel as though the new year gives people a reason to reflect, and want to move past their failures or sadness.  I think that everyone must go through this, that must be why resolutions were created in the first place.

This year is dedicated to learning and growing once again, because if I do that then I can never say I didn’t accomplish anything.

Here’s to new energy, take a deep breath, then take advantage of it.  Thanks for reading, Rin Vanderhaeghe.

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