Danger Hold You To Me (pt1.2)

The cats act differently now too. Instead of purring and cuddling, they hiss and hide away in the basement. Maybe they are angry that we had to board up all the windows. Maybe they do not like him anymore, can they tell the difference? I think so. They still (reluctantly) come to me when I feed them, but they do not let me hold them or rub noses with them anymore. I hope it’s the windows.

It has now been two full weeks.

He has been distant. I am no longer sure that he is even the same person. Can I love someone who is no longer there?

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It is almost time.
The planning is almost complete.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Once upon a time, I was a normal teenager and a normal young woman. I dreamt of princes________and
castles_________________laying in the sun and laughing___________and love____and sex__and
______and everything.
______I dreamt of beauty and desire_________________of you.
Always of you.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

She picks up the phone, and slowly dials the number, the only number that she knows.
On the other end, a female voice is heard.

Hello?
Hey… So_______tonight_________tonight_____can you come over?____I need you both here._________Can you come over?
Of course, I’ll let him know. What time?
Does 9_______sound___o__kay?________We can’t ope-
Its okay, we’ll be there at 9.

click.

She sighs. Seven hours seems like an eternity she realizes with sad irony.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I can not be uncertain about this.
I can not be uncertain about this.
I can not be uncertain about this.
I can not be uncertain about this.
I can not be uncertain about this.

I can not be uncertain about this.

I can not be uncertain about this.

I can not be uncertain about this.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

There is a knock on the door. They are here. They are here to support me. To help me. I do know whether or not they think this is a good idea. I have not asked. I do not want to know the answer. But they are here because they are our friends. Our friends. Even in death.

Everything is ready. The chair is set up, with the straps to hold me down. Five packets of blood sitting the fridge. Three intravenous needles laid out on the table. Baroque music playing the background.

Ready
5
4
3
2

Advertisements

express yourself and comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s